On the False Start...
"(M)y thesis had to be finished by the beginning of April. I counted the number of days that were left to me, and I began to lose confidence." (49)
"While the others, it seemed, had been busy for some time collecting their material and accumulating notes, I alone had done nothing except promise myself that I would start work on my paper right after the New Year."
"I did indeed begin in the early part of January, but it was not long before I found myself in a state of mental paralysis. I had fondly imagined that, by merely thinking vaguely about a few large problems, I was building up a solid and almost complete framework for my paper. I discovered my folly as soon as I began to work seriously."
"From then on my thesis hung over me like a curse."
On Gathering Materials...
"I began to narrow down my topic." (51)
"I rushed back to Sensei to ask him what books I should read. He willingly gave me all the information he could, and then offered to lend me two or three books that were necessary for my work."
"But he steadfastly refused to give me any other guidance."
"I had already prepared a kind of daily schedule which I intended to follow when I got home, and so there were books that I had to buy. I went to the Maruzen bookshop (Goering's), and, prepared to spend half the day there if need be, I examined carefully all the books that dealt with my subject." (78)
"Not many days later, I paid one of my rare visits to the university library. I had been told by my supervisor to acquaint myself, before the following week, with certain facts concerning my field of specialization. I had to get up from my seat in the reading room and return to the stacks two or three times before I could locate what I wanted. I sat down at the end of the large desk and began to read carefully." (211-212)
"Often, I found myself dozing over my books, and sometimes I went as far as to bring out my pillow and take a nap in earnest. I would wake to the cry of the cicadas... Sometimes, I would lie still and listen to it for a moment or two, and my heart would fill with sadness." (84)
On Writing...
"If I was not at my desk, I was in the gloomy library, hurriedly scanning the titles on the high shelves, as though I were some kind of curio hunter." (52)
"With bloodshot eyes, I worked like a madman... Everyday I worked as hard and as long as I could."
"I decided that I had only been able to complete about one-third of the work that I should have done by then. The unpleasant feeling that I had not worked hard enough was one that I had often experienced before... I was weighed down by the depressing thought that such perhaps was the normal state of things in every adult's life." (98)
"I did not visit Sensei once before the beginning of December, by which time I had finally completed my paper."
"I was free at last."
On Receiving Your Grade...
"My professors apparently did not have as high an opinion of my thesis as I did. I was, however, allowed to graduate that year." (64)
*All quotes from Kokoro (1914), tr. Edwin McLellan